every brilliant thing - may 2024
puzzles, ploinks, poppies
It’s a funny thing, having a difficult month. I’d have guessed that it would have made everything bleak overall, but instead what I came to find was that I had more brilliant things to list this month than the last two combined. Maybe it’s what they say—that you can’t have the rainbow without any rain. That the experience of sadness, pain, anxiety all make the good moments glimmer all the more brightly.
If you’re new here or want a refresher, you can go here for March’s list and a primer of why I’m writing an EBT list, and here for April’s list.
For people reading over email—this will probably be clipped! So if you want to see the pictures in the footnotes, you’ll want to open this to read in your browser or the Substack app.
Here’s a song to start us off (from an album added to Spotify literally today!), but I’ll also land my entire May 2024 playlist at the bottom of this, in case you’d like to give that a listen.
here’s every brilliant thing i encountered in may:
Cold Little Heart by Michael Kiwanuka, specifically the 10-minute version, but especially 2:22
Watching a leaf gently fall from its tree
The Untitled Goose Gallery1
When clouds are so bright and orange that they look like fire
Weird tricks of the light. I saw what appeared to be a pair of white sneakers walking themselves across a crosswalk, but it was just a white paper bag blown by the wind and hit by the sun just right
Working from patches of sun
The quiet comfort of doing puzzles with others
Watching and listening to rain fall on a skylight
A perfect “ploink” sound when stepping in a puddle
Rainy day coffee shop vibes
Staring at a raindrop on the windshield, waiting patiently until it accumulates enough water for it to start rolling down
A pink vespa, especially in contrast to its desaturated background2
The cloud that forms in coffee when you first pour cream in it
Live auctions. I had no idea how exhilarating they are??
The thing where you lick your finger and make a wine glass sing
Finding a moment of deep connection at Zoo Fest, despite the overstimulating & hectic environment
Seeing a rhino when you don’t expect it3
The Palace of Fine Arts
Water droplets on skin with the sun shining through them
Nicknames that stem from something other than your name4
CowPow snoring and gently twitching in her sleep
Finding bee earrings at the Pixar Spring Craft Fair5
Learning that my dad extended his trip up here just to spend time with me, not because he had other business to attend to
Two trees next to each other that are drastically different shades of green6
Running into Freeman, feeling his warmth as recognition dawned on his face7
Golden hour light
Bending backwards in my chair to try to crack my upper back, looking up to see a plant I did not expect growing from the underside of a palm tree8
Singing along with my dad to Rubber Soul for the first time since high school
Remembering that my dad always makes up his own lyrics to songs on the fly and fully commits to singing them, as if they are absolutely correct
When sunlight reflects off of shiny leaves, so trees look like they’re made of glitter
Listening to a 1990 Japanese Beatles cover band album that I just unearthed. This is my first listen in about 20 years, and every track made me laugh out loud. It’s so bad that it’s good.
The smooth texture of ginkgo leaves
Bottlebrush trees
Heat distortion
Seeing how the flora changes over the course of a long drive
Dolphining out the car window9
A scavenger hunt Charlie’s mom made for his 30th birthday, to mimic what they used to do when he was a little kid
CowPow in the dappled light10
Propagating plants
The way Conner first said “Papalote”
Being received with care for sharing deeply vulnerable things
The acknowledgment of an interaction being “intense and difficult, but I wouldn’t trade it”
- coming over when she knew I’d need a friend
Liz pronouncing “friend” as “fwand”
Realizing what a blessing starting my haiku practice has been. I don’t know how I’d process anything without this
One Summer Day by Joe Hisaishi, especially when I need a good cry
Unexpectedly crying while talking to coworkers, then later finding this stack of drawings on my desk to cheer me up11
Deep hugs
Discovering a mysterious CD that says “Marie’s music” on it in my mom’s handwriting. I listened to it. It was awful, and therefore wonderful
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, just when I needed to hear it
Smelling jasmine blossoms while walking around Pixar’s campus
The kindness of a coworker, who took one look at me before a meeting and escorted me out to a secret stairwell, holding me while I cried for 25 minutes, missing the entire meeting
Feeling such deep pain in mourning, because what a privilege it is to have had something worth mourning
Piles of pink petals from blooms trees past their prime12
A platitude with a twist from my hairdresser: “what doesn’t kill you makes you more dangerous”
A pile of poppies13
Realizing the Luxo ball can rotate?? I had no idea?? Is it supposed to do that??
Being moved to tears while playing guitar and singing
Dogs getting groomed
The presence of my childhood best friend
, who drove all the way from Mammoth to be with me when I needed her supportScreaming along to If It Makes You Happy while driving, but now with a friend instead of alone
Seeing San Francisco through someone else’s eyes, like when Lauren said, “wow, beautiful” at a church I’ve passed countless times without much thought
The urge to hold your breath when driving through a tunnel
The professional title of “cheese monger”
This koi mosaic14
Going to City Lights looking for 2 specific poetry books by Jack Gilbert, not finding either, but discovering another of his books that wasn’t on my list. Opening it up to a random page, and it happened to land on a poem I was literally talking about that morning, Failing and Flying. I took it as a sign to buy it
Sleepy window dogs
CowPow licking the salt from beneath my eyes
Overhearing NPC dialogue IRL15
Being able to watch Bay to Breakers from my balcony
Looking up just in time to see a small gust of wind blow through the grass like a little cyclone, pulling up leaves and causing them to swirl in the air in a little cylindrical flow before they gently fell back to the ground
Reading a book in the park
Teary-eyed goodbye hugs, where you’re both muttering your gratitude and “I love you”s
Dragonflies
The warmth of the sun
A pretty gradient in a building’s glass16
The layoffs at Pixar are whatever the opposite of a brilliant thing is, but people’s show of care and generosity in its wake is a brilliant thing
“Just because” gift of treats: matcha chocolate chip ice cream, yuzu sparkling water, a mango
Lunchtime jam sesh with a coworker in a stairwell
Birdsongs
A big, full, yellow moon, low in the sky
Birds gliding on the wind without needing to flap their wings
Really big cemeteries—I drove by one on the way from JFK to Brooklyn, and it took my breath away
My childhood friend Sarah’s warm, familiar presence
Seeing that Sarah’s home just is so her
Buildings with funky façades
The doppler effect on an ice cream truck’s jingle
An apartment window full of plants
Gigantic gingko trees
Silly puns
NYC subway tile
Tree canopies forming a tunnel17
A dog in a backpack
Karaoke where everyone in the bar is so committed and screams along with every song
Doing the macarena to the sound of a turn signal
Super thin leaves
When a butterfly flew into the store and landed on the wares
Finally seeing my friend Henry IRL and being able to take in his details—his walk cycle, the color of his eyes, his microexpressions
A dark squirrel in Central Park18
Soooo many pigeons on a pole19
Pine-nut heavy pesto on a pizza
The show Illinoise
Watching my dear friend Jeanette dance, especially given that at the time we had met, she thought she may never be able to again
My teary, laughter-filled reunion with Jeanette—the first time we had seen each other in maybe 3 years
Friendly bartenders
Receiving a brilliant thing (about me!) after discussing my list with a bartender20
Passing notes like we’re in the fourth grade
Reversible leaves21
The entrance of the Brooklyn Public Library22
This tree with beautiful blooms, but it also kinda looks like it got TP’d23
Glittery rocks and glittery sand
Honest, vulnerable conversations
Knowing what is meant, even when it’s unspoken
Meeting
and in 3D, holding their faces in my hands, petting their hair, knowing how they smellDaniel sliding me a shot when he knew I’d need it
Screaming along to If It Makes You Happy, but this time to close out a bar with friends
Realizing I managed taking the subway (even alone and at night) without having a panic attack
Pushing through fear
The relief that comes from having spoken the words out loud
A renewed perspective that gives an appreciation of mundanity
Navigating something painful with respect and care
Finding an earring that’s been missing for about 5 years, and being very glad I kept the other one
Tiny yellow flowers with shiny petals, wobbling in the wind
Trees with a dramatic lean24
Meals that are fast and easy to cook, yet taste delicious and complex
This was one of my favorite, employee-led events at Pixar. There was so much wonderful art, ranging from a packing peanut goose (behind me in the picture below), 3D printed geese, a Dali-inspired painting called “The Persistence of Goose,” and even a honku (I am so mad I didn’t think of this). You can find my rug tufting work through this post:
Spotted near Japantown, after studying Japanese at a café with my friend Derek. The pink stands out so wonderfully.
Yeah yeah, I know I was literally at a zoo, but most of the animals had been hiding all evening!
I now can’t remember who I wrote this in reference to, but I have one and only one of these non-name based nicknames: in high school, a group of boys all called me “Axis,” because I’m Japanese and have a German last name. I begrudgingly concede that this is witty as hell, and unfortunately sounds pretty sick. Hard to ignore the context, though.
I bought these because I have a silly thing I say, which is that I’d like to remind myself to be a human being not a human doing. Being. Bee-ing. Bee. It makes sense in my head.
In Cole Valley, on my walk to get dinner with my dad and Charlie at Cole Valley Tavern, my old haunt.
Freeman is an older gentleman (in his 70s?) that I befriended about a year ago while I used to be a regular at Cole Valley Tavern. We were both reading alone at the bar and got to talking, enthusiastic about our shared interest in psychology. We shared drinks that evening as well as others, and would text or email each other articles that we thought the other would like. We lost touch when I moved out of the Cole Valley neighborhood, but I bumped into him when I went to CVT with my dad and Charlie. Once he recognized who I was, he said “oh come here, girl!!” and gave me the warmest hug, before introducing me to his wife, who was delighted to meet me and said, “Freeman has told me so much about you.”
On Pixar’s campus, out on the pool deck, during a “Vitamin D Tea” I was hosting for the Editorial Department.
You knew what I meant when I said dolphining, right? If you didn’t, I’m sorry for your deprived childhood.
Featured photo in this haiku post:
A kind gesture from John Hoffman, Story Supervisor of Inside Out 2 (coming to theaters June 14th!)
Featured photo in this haiku post:
In the Panhandle, spotted during my walk with Gabby. I can’t think of another way to describe this aside from “a pile of poppies.”
In North Beach, near where Lauren and I parked before her hoop class, near the aforementioned cheese monger.
Discussed in footnote 9 this haiku post:
Near Japantown, on my commute to Pixar after a physical therapy appointment. Please forgive the dirty windshield.
In Riverside Park, Manhattan, during my stroll with Sarah, though I did also love the tree tunnels in Prospect Park, Brooklyn.
Spotted on my stroll through Central Park with Henry. I love the contrast in color between these two squirrels.
Upper East Side, Manhattan, on my walk with Henry. This felt just too New York to not capture.
Coaster notes! I later got one with checkboxes that said, “Would you like another drink? YES NO MAYBE”
Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, on my walk with Sarah and Daniel. I loved how much dimension this gave the tree.
I just thought this was so magnificent and awe-inspiring. Next time I go back, I must go inside.
Prospect Park, Brooklyn, on my walk with Sarah and Daniel. Sarah was the one who pointed out that it looked like it had been TP’d, and it made me laugh thinking of middle school when TP’ing was a thing.
Spotted on my run in the Panhandle. I noticed after returning from New York how few steps I’m getting during my normal life, so I’m trying to hit the pavement more.
