ever wonder how
things might have been different if || we just tried harder?
comfort? ben howard
celebration? or heartbreak?
always ben howard
Here’s a chronological haiku set, with select pieces written sometime between April 11th and May 13th. Lots of insomnia in this one. Tell Walgreens to stop delaying my trazodone prescription!
-
your insecurity
about your intelligence
isn’t helping you
-
i’m feeling silly
writing haiku while others laugh
lost in my own mind
-
let me make this clear:
we are not friends. you’re a leech
sucking my blood dry
-
going through my day
you float in and out my mind
an apparition
-
he complimented me
“you are a core memory”
and then he was gone
-
you launch the cue ball
straight off the table and laugh
before your next shot
-
it’s hard to see you
to think i’m cut from your cloth
but i’m glad you’re here
-
pinball tournament
nimble hands, laser focus
at emporium
-
it’s weird to visit
where i once had a first date
and feel their absence
-
can’t get back to sleep
trazodone in my bloodstream
but it isn’t enough
-
small ube cheesecake
a gift from a coworker
makes me want to weep
-
physically shaking
turns out that just four hours
isn’t enough sleep
-
i always forget
that my sleep deprivation
hits two days later
-
so hard to focus
my eyes keep glazing over
despite my efforts
-
i had every plan
to study japanese, yet
textbook remains closed
-
will acknowledging
my distraction, tough feelings
make them go away?
-
thirty years ago
you came to be. a sweet gift
to all who know you1
-
i apologize
i really just dropped the ball
i have no excuse
-
we danced at madrone
two weird little disco queens
finger guns galore2
-
polaroid pictures
small, tangible memories
evidence of life
-
please just cut me off
don’t let me ramble while you’re
already checked out
-
where are the voids when
you need them? the ones where you
can scream your voice raw?
-
it’s like i’m cramming
for a final exam that
i know i can’t pass
-
i know i’ll move on
though it will take me some time
i will be okay
-
my stomach lurches
i feel my world shrink down and
tears begin to well
-
i’m letting this go
peeling back my grasp on a
future that won’t pass
-
my sleep tracker reads
just three and a half hours
i begin to weep
-
Happy birthday, Charlie.
Only birthday footnotes today. A fond memory with
when she visited me for my birthday back in January.