every brilliant thing - february 2025
one year of brilliant things
This concludes one whole year of writing EBT lists. I so appreciate having a record of the little, glittering moments that filled my days.
I got a question from one of my friends about if my redacted line items are illegal things (thanks, Thomas, this gave me a laugh), so want to clarify a little here. I started redacting some line items in September, and that came from me wanting to keep some things sacred or private to myself, instead of giving myself away completely.
For example, I had redacted #638 in November. Behind the scenes, that one was “meeting Rocky;” who is our new dog that we finally brought home about a week ago (#811 on today’s list).
Rocky’s former owners absolutely love him, but they made the difficult decision to re-home him after realizing that with their growing family, they couldn’t give him the time and attention that they thought he deserved. We decided back then that we’d transition ownership in February, after things had settled post-holiday season.
I denoted our meeting him as redacted because I was afraid of jinxing it somehow. I worried that somewhere along the way the family would change their minds and want to keep him or we would back out. It felt like the correct move, keeping it close to my chest, to avoid heartbreak or embarrassment if it didn’t work out.
Here’s my February playlist. This was a chaotic music month, because gathering “Pixarian Jock Jams” early in the month skewed my selects toward rock/rap/hip-hop more than usual. The ones that particularly tickled me were 3, 18, 31, 38, and 39, with a shout out to Chloe Dalzell, my American Conservatory Theatre songwriting intensive classmate, for releasing her debut single, 57.
This month was also pretty spotty for me mental health-wise, so most of this will be pieced together in retrospect, like January was.
Thanks for being here. I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to continue these EBT lists into another year, but I will definitely continue writing and sharing in other ways at the very least. With that,
here’s (i think) every brilliant thing i encountered in february:
Stimulating conversation at 8:30 in the morning (thank you, Jack!)
A well-curated garage sale
All day cozy hangs with friends
Conner’s graciousness to help me in my music journey
Enthusiasm for my Tuesday Morning Welcome Committee1
Being reminded of so many songs that hype me up2
Being told that I’m a “culture maker,” that I’m one of the people who makes Pixar the place that it is
A rare 15-minute commute3
CowPow luxuriating in a beam of light4
Disco balls
Dancing the night away with Sanoma
Jeff Straw playing saxophone over a DJ set5
Charlie drawing art for CowPow to gaze upon6
Meeting a pair of friends who every Monday grab a cocktail at the same place, just to make sure they are seeing each other
Mutual strong commitment to an improv game (thanks, Sean!)
Cool shadows made by sunset lamps7
Immediately finding my lost earring
Chicken Kev IRL8
[redacted]
A sweet Galentine’s gathering (thank you Rachana!)
Taking boudoir pics for the first time9
Bunny cake10
Flower shop cat11
Win Or Lose, and all of the conversations that watching it brings up
Making a rug that will be selling in a Sotheby’s charity auction12
Finally finding a local tattoo artist I love and trust (Gray, I adore you)
My new murmuration tattoo, to commemorate my solo trip13
The love comedy/dating show Love Isn’t Blind, but especially when you are friends with the bachelorette
The satisfaction of cranking out a song you’re pretty happy with in just about half an hour
Bringing home our new dog Rocky
Performing a scene from my favorite play Lungs by Duncan McMillan for my coworker’s acting class at Berkeley Rep14
“Songwriting retreat” with Gavi15
Once a quarter or so, I camp out at the front of Pixar’s main atrium for a few hours and collect songs people like, to dump into a playlist and send out to everyone. Earlier this month, the Win Or Lose snack shack was put on display, so I decided to put it to my advantage. I posted up in there and hollered at everyone who walked by to let me know the answer to this question: “If you were on a softball team, and you were sidling up to bat, what would be your walk out song? What would be blasting on the speakers to hype you up?” This playlist is the result.
In reference to the above. I put in a few walk out songs (because I make the rules). Mine were O Fortuna from the opera Carmina Burana, Freaks and Geeks by Childish Gambino, RYDEEN by YELLOW MAGIC ORCHESTRA, and Flamingo by Kero Kero Bonito. Most of the ones that other people put that tickled me made it into my 2025_02 playlist.
It’s usually 30
Jeff was not only amazing, but he was so freaking nice. Before his set, we talked a lot about songwriting and composition choices, his journey into music. It was delightful.
I was sooo close to redacting this one haha, but you know what!!! I’m tickled that I had a lot of fun taking these pictures with my gals, and I came away from it feeling empowered and more comfortable in my body/sexuality, which is a huge feat. So much of experiencing sexual trauma is being stripped of my agency, so I feel really proud of myself to have had a moment where I was just sitting in my body and feeling okay, even good, about myself.
I kept calling this cat “PowCow,” because it was the reverse coloring of CowPow. The alter ego, the shadow self.
Pixar is teaming up with some other Animation studios and Sotheby’s to raise money for LA wildfire relief. I created this one based on the Abstract Thought sequence from the original Inside Out.
Me and my co-worker friend Max, who played opposite me in Lungs. He was a delight to share the scene with, and I would in a heartbeat do it again, especially if Axel was directing it. Since I first read this play in 2020, I’ve always had a tiny little dream of wanting to perform this, and I’m so grateful that Axel and Max helped make that a reality. We created an open and emotional vulnerable space together. The scene is incredibly intense, with each of us crying at different points in it. It’s the kind of piece that requires a ton of trust, and it’s a blessing that I found that with them.
This is literally happening as I write this! We hit stopping point on a draft and have been taking a break to eat dinner. We also wrote together last night, and tonight we are having a sleepover so we can continue working in the morning. I’m giving myself permission to dedicate this weekend wholly to music-making, instead of getting too troubled by other productive things I “could” be doing.