five figures in black
with strings and a typewriter || led us to ourselves
Three haiku sets, each written in single sittings:
sister - on my walk home from coffee at The Mill with a friend. To Miche—I am grateful to know you and be in your orbit.
heaviness - during Cathedrals of Light, a night of poetry, strings, and presence by Silvi Alcivar and the Wave Chamber Collective at The Lost Church. The haiku embedded in the title/subtitle of this post refers to this performance. After the show, I noted to Silvi how meta it was to write poetry during the moments of pause between her reading poetry, and she laughed and delighted in it. Thank you for giving us all the permission to let go.
mother - at my bathroom sink, in the middle of washing my face while getting ready for bed. It almost felt like I had seen a ghost.
sister
did not recognize
your silhouette, but quickly
I thought, “oh, of course”
-
the new look makes sense
your hair captures your spirit
full, light, whimsical
-
you held my troubles
created a container
gave me warmth and love
-
acknowledged my grief
encouraged me to seek joy
asked what i needed
-
i am so grateful
for your friendship. a sister
i’m glad to have found
heaviness
all my heaviness
fits in a semicolon
the choice to go on
-
in an ampersand
acknowledgment that there’s more
heaviness to come
-
in a small pebble
a little dark and round thing
that fits in my palm
-
i’ll take this pebble
ampersand, semicolon
and tuck it away
-
cast it in the sea
softly place it in a jar
for a rainy day
-
i can let it go
or can save it for later
whichever serves me
-
but what matters is
giving myself permission
to extract it out
-
if just for a while
to let lightness take its place
spaciousness, even
-
to open my heart
to the joy that exists here
in this moment, now
-
that is all i have
i don’t have yesterday’s joy
or tomorrow’s joy
-
i only have now
so teach me to cherish it
to not squander it
-
for with each moment
the joy passes by until
it is gone, gone, gone
mother
when i saw my face
in the mirror’s reflection
of a reflection
-
i saw my mother
in a way i never have
until this moment
-
was it my cheekbones?
or the clear disappointment
written on my brow?
-
i wonder when she
gazes upon my features
if she sees herself
-
if she feels content
with the girl she created
or if she feels hurt
-
knowing she could not
protect me from everything
that has befallen
-
did she put her dreams
into my future? am i
just letting her down?